Just This
by ishandahalf
Summary: Oneshot, slight AU, romy. Remy thinks about his life and his love, and one helps him make an important decision regarding the other. 'Never felt like dis ‘round nobody else, which is what finally clued me in. I love her.'


**Disclaimer:** I don't own the X-Men, Stan Lee and Marvel do… But wait, do they have their names on them! Oh, I guess they do… Curses, foiled by that old grade-school adage!

**A/N:** Ahoy hoy! I'm still sticking to what I said, with not writing anything hugely epic until probably the summer, but I was hit with an inspiration for a one-shot, and I just _had_ to write this puppy. I got the basic idea from watching a certain episode of a certain tv show (I won't mention any names yet, cuz I don't wanna give anything away – a nod to it is in the end author's notes), but it only really came together when I was listening to the Cure. I heard a few lines and it really motivated me. I love you, Robert Smith!

So. That's my little ramble for the day. Onward to the fic! Enjoy.

Oh, by the way, this is slightly AU – so Rogue still released Apocalypse and he appeared to kill Magneto, but other than that, I've done some tweaking. All right, now that's said and done… Carry on!

* * *

_"If you die" you said, "So do I" you said - but it ends the day you see how it is_

_There is no always forever… just this… just this._

_"If you die" you said, "So do I" you said - but it ends the day you understand_

_There is no if… just and_.

- There Is No If…, The Cure

**Just This**

Always love t' watch _ma chère_ (my dear) sleep. I started sneakin' int' de mansion after her powers went _fou_ (crazy), just t' check up on her. After dat whole incident, I tried t' tell m'self dat I was overreactin', dat she was fine - but some naggin' little voice in my head kept yellin' at me an' wouldn' stop 'till I knew she was okay. So I broke int' de mansion – wit' all de high-tech equipment 'round de place, it was pretty simple. But den again, f'r a master t'ief, it should be. 

I found her in de medlab, an' just watched her… Lost track o' time, very unprofessional f'r a t'ief t' do. _Chère_ seems so serene when she's sleepin', sometimes wit' a little smile on her face… I like t' t'ink dat she's dreamin' o' me, like I always dream o' her.

Didn' know it den, but I started a habit dat night. One mo' dangerous den gamblin' an' smokin' – knew dat I'd have an angry Magneto an' house full o' X-Men t' deal wit', but I kept comin' back every night I could, just t' watch o'er her. She said dat she had a lot o' nightmares, but she didn' have any after I started comin' – mebbe I kept dem away from her.

After _chère_ moved back t' her room, I tol' myself dat she was better, so dere was no need t' go back durin' de night. But den dere was a slight problem - I couldn' sleep anymo', not wit'out seein' her first. Never t'ought I'd see de day when Remy LeBeau was happy just watchin' a _fille_ (girl) sleep instead o' sleepin' wit' her, but it was true.

In fact, 'm watchin' _ma chère_ now, seein' her just lay dere peacefully… she looks so _belle_ (beautiful). Well, she looks _belle_ all de time, but wit'out any o' her makeup on an' no masks hidin' who she really is, she makes m' heart skip a beat ev'ry time I look at her. Normally dis makes me happy 'nough, t' see Rogue sleepin', an' den I go back t' de base an' can go t' bed too. But not dis time, 'cause _chère_ ain't sleepin'.

She's in a coma. Has been f'r almost _deux semaines_ (two weeks) now, ever since Apocalypse absorbed all her energy. Just de t'ought o' dat _salaud_ (bastard) makes me so angry… Don' really care if he's de most powerful mutant in de world - he hurt m' Rogue an' dat makes me wanna hurt him right back. But dat'll have t' come later, 'cause dere's no way in hell 'm leavin' Rogue's side.

I t'ought I felt bad after her powers overloaded, 'cause I wasn' dere t' help her. After dat, I tol' her dat I'd be dere f'r her, so she wouln' have t' go t'rough anyt'in' like dat alone again. But den Mesmero took o'er her, an' dere was not'in' I could do. I feel like _merde_ (shit) 'cause I broke m' promise t' her… but de feelin's even worse now 'cause she might never know. 

De _professeur_ says dat Apocalypse took all her energy, all her powers, an' de powers o' all de voices in her head. We t'ought dat was a good t'ing at first, 'cause den Xavier could get int' her head wit'out any trouble – 'cept _chère _wasn' dere. He said some mumbo-jumbo 'bout her bein' lost on de Astral Plane. Didn' really understand all de telepat' lingo he used, but I got de gist o' what he said next. 

De body can't exist wit'out de mind - dey can only be separated f'r so long. T' make matters worse, Rogue's prob'ly got less time den dat, 'cause she's got almost no energy left in her body. She's barely alive now, an' Dr. McCoy don' know how long she'll be able t' last…

Refused t' accept dat. Said dere had t' be somethin' we could do. I'd gladly let her absorb me, same wit' de Wolverine, but de prof explained dat de shock o' de new psyche in her head might damage her even mo'. So once again, dere's no way I can help her. But 'm still not leavin'.

I've been wit' her practic'ly de whole time. I wan' t' be de first t'ing she sees when she wakes up. 'Cause she will… She has t'. She'll find her way back t' me, I know it. Barely even leave de medlab anymo'… I get meals brought down t' me by Stormy, Kitty, or some o' de ot'er _filles_. Don' t'ink dey mind me too much, 'cause dey t'ink 'm bein' romantic. De ot'ers… Well, t'ink it's safe t' say dat dey hate me. Rogue's _frère_(brother) comes down here a lot, always scowlin' at me. When he 'ported in _une fois_ (one time) an' I was holdin' _chère's_ hand, 'm positive he gave me a death glare dat he had t' have learned from her.

Cyclops comes by now and den. Can't tell f'r sure 'cause o' his glasses, but 'm pretty sure he's glarin' at me too. But den I glare right back – don' like de way he looks at _ma_ _chère_ sometimes. I'd bet anyt'in' dat he wants t' kick me out, but he won' start a fight in de medlab. De Wolverine shows up occasionally. De first time he saw me dere, he let loose dose claws o' his, hopin' t' scare me, but I barely even noticed. Was too focused on Rogue. T'ink dat won me a few points wit' de ol' man, but dat doesn' really matter right now. I just care 'bout _chère_.

Don' know how she does it, but it's like dat every time 'm wit' her. I forget 'bout everyt'in' else – de Guilds, Belle, m' contract t' Mags… She makes me happy. Never felt like dis 'round nobody else, which is what finally clued me in. I love her. T'ink I have from de first time I saw her, comin' 'round de corner in dat battle... Just took me a while t' realize it. After we got t' know each ot'er, wit'out de knowledge o' our team mates o' course, dat mysterious feelin' only got stronger. Can't believe I was stupid 'nough not t' know… an' t' not tell her when I had de chance.

Dat's why she's gotta wake up. I have t' tell her, let her know how I feel. So dat's why 'm sittin' here, just waitin'. De only sound in de room is de beepin' o' de machines dat are monitorin' her. Dey were annoyin' at first, but now dey're reassurin'- dey let me know dat she's still alive.

I started talkin' t' her – nothin' really important, just random stories. Hopin' she'll hear, an' mebbe m' voice'll guide her back t' me… I took her hand, intertwinin' our fingers an' marvellin' 'bout how right it feels. I peeled her gloves off an' slipped mine on instead – I know she hates havin' to wear dem all de time, an' I wan' her t' be comfortable. Her hands are unblemished, an' look so soft… I had t' fight de temptation t' touch dem an' find out. M' eyes move t' her lips, an' I remember how soft an' warm dey were when she kissed me. All right, so mebbe she was under Mesmero's control, but at least I got a taste o' her. One day 'm determined t' get anot'er, her powers be damned… But dat's gettin' me even mo' tempted, so I had t' look away. 

I kept talkin', starin' at her small hand in mine. Tellin' her 'bout m' family, all de crazy adventures on de bayou wit' m' cousins… 'M glad dat de _Bête_ (Beast) is away researchin' Apocalypse, 'cause I don' feel like sharin' m' life wit' too many people. Don' mind wit' Rogue, she knows me better den anybody else anyways. It started out light hearted, but I guess m' soul needed t' unburden itself, 'cause t'ings headed o'er t' mo' unpleasant territory, like m' obligations t' Buckethead… An' how sorry I was f'r not bein' dere for her. She's been betrayed too much in her life – don' know how she'll take one mo' time, but I'll be here t' help her t'rough it.

"'M so sorry, _chère_," I sighed t' her, desperately clutchin' her hand like it was de only t'ing keepin' her here.

I could imagine her sweet southern twang askin', "Fo' what, swamp rat?", so I kept goin', pourin' out m' confessions.

"F'r not bein' dere f'r y'… f'r not bein' able t' help y'…" I muttered, hangin' m' head in shame. Knowin' y' couldn' protect de person y' loved wasn' a good feelin'.

"Don' be stupid, Cajun," came dat husky voice again, along wit' a squeeze t' m' hand dat made me blink in confusion. Did I just imagine dat too?

Liftin' m' head, I looked straight int' a pair o' gorgeous emeralds an' m' heart nearly burst outta m' chest.

"_Chère?_" I questioned breat'lessly, afraid dat dis wasn't real. Ev'ry time I fell asleep, I'd had de same dream – dat Rogue woke up, dat she was fine, an' dat she was miraculously able t' control her powers… dose were some great dreams. But I'd much rat'er have reality if she was awake now.

"Yeah, it's meh," she said wit' a grin as she slowly sat up in bed.

In an instant, m' arms were wrapped 'round her. Barely felt her arms go 'round me – she was so small an' light dat I wasn' sure if she was really dere at all. Don' know how long we stayed like dat, but I couldn' bear t' let go o' her. I wasn' ever lettin' go o' her again.

"_Mon Dieu_ (My God) _chère_, don' y' ever scare dis Cajun like dat again! I was so worried 'bout y'," I mumbled int' her hair.

"Don't yah worry, sugah," came a whispered reply. "Ah wouldn't leave yah without sayin' goodbye…"

Eventually she pulled back a bit, but not out o' m' embrace, which made me glad. "Yah all right, Remy?" she softly asked.

I let out a small chuckle. It was de first time I'd laughed f'r weeks. "Y're askin' me dat, _chère_? 'M not de one dat almos' didn' wake up."

"Well, Ah'm fine now. Yah, on th' other hand, look like hell." Heh, loved how Rogue always spoke her mind. Just one o' de countless t'ings I admired 'bout her.

"What, y' don' like de beard?" I ran m' hand o'er m' face, feelin' de hair. Hadn' shaved recently. Hell, I barely even took showers eit'er. Too afraid dat de second I left she'd wake up… Or never wake up again.

"That's not what Ah'm talkin' 'bout," she replied as she fixed me wit' a piercin' stare. "Yah've been down here th' whole time Ah was out, haven't yah?"

"_Oui_." Hoped she'd t'ink it was a lovin' gesture, but…

"Yah've been mopin' an' feelin' sorry fo' yo'self th' whole time, right?"

Damn, de _fille_ knew me too well.

"Oh sugah, don't do this ta yo'self! Yah're always tellin' meh not ta dwell!" she scolded.

"I know, _chère_," I sighed. "It's just dat-"

"Hush up, swamp rat," she interrupted me. "No dwellin'. That's an order! All that matters is now, yah hear?"

Couldn' stop a smile from coming t' m' face at her no-nonsense tone o' voice. Had no problems takin' orders from _ma_ _chère_ – in fact, dat just sent m' mind spirallin' down int' de gutter. Rogue as a dominatrix was a nice kinky t'ought… An' she was already halfway dere wit' dose sexy goth outfits o' hers. Must've started droolin' or somet'in', 'cause de clearin' o' her throat snapped me back t' attention.

I flashed her an innocent smile, but den got mo' serious. "'Course _chère_, now is all dat matters. So tell me de truth, how y' feelin' now?"

Eyes downcast, she sighed. "Ah'll be fine, Remy. Ah'll get over it. Ah always do."

"I'll be right here t' help y', _chère_, I swear," I tell her, m' hands cuppin' her face. Made me happy t' see dat she didn' flinch away like she usually does.

Placin' her hands on top o' mine, she looked straight int' m' eyes and stated, "Let meh help yah first."

"_Chère?_"

"Ah heard yah talkin', 'bout yo' contract, an' how miserable yah are… Will yah let meh help yah? Yah've done so much fo' meh…"

Didn' t'ink I could ever say no t' dis _ange_ (angel), an' I tol' her so. But I still didn' know how she could help me.

"Why don' yah talk ta th' professor? Join th' X-Men?"

I wanted nothin' mo' den t' be on Rogue's side since we started seein' each ot'er – no sneakin' 'round, tryin' not t' get caught… I wanted nothin' mo' den t' never leave her side again… If only it were dat simple. T'ought it might get easier wit' Magneto bein' out o' de picture now, which made m' contract null an' void, but t'ings tend t' not work out de way I wan' dem t'. 

"_Chère_, I'd like dat but… wit'out a contract keepin' me here, 'm supposed t' go back t' N'Awlins." I hated de t'ought o' goin' back t' Belle, but I hated de t'ought o' leavin' Rogue even mo'.

"Talk ta th' prof," she repeated. "He can sign yah ta a new contract. Would that be bindin' 'nough fo' th' Guilds?"

I stared at her f'r a few seconds. Dat was such a simple plan dat it could work… "But would he let dis poor t'ief join?"

She put a hand on m' shoulder an' tried t' lightly shake me, but she was still so weak dat I didn' even feel it. "Don' make meh lecture yah on how yah are _not_ a bad person, Remy LeBeau! He'll let yah in. I joined, didn't Ah?"

It wasn' de same t'ing, an' I was 'bout t' mention dat, but she stopped me. "No! Not a word, sugah. Go take a few minutes an' freshen up while Ah get dressed, an' Ah'll drag yah up ta see him mahself."

"Can I watch y' get dressed an' den go freshen up?" I couldn' resist teasing her. Managed t' get a blush out o' her befo' she scowled an' pointed out de door - but I still saw de smile she tried t' hide.

I quickly found a bat'room an' shaved. _Chère_ was right, I did look like hell. Managed t' finish faster den ever b'fo', an' rushed back t' de medlab t' see Rogue ready an' rarin' t' go. Was glad t' see dere was no makeup f'r her t' put on down here – she looked so much better wit'out it.

"_Chère_, y' sure y're ready t' be out o' bed?" I asked her, worried. Didn' wan' anyt'in' else happenin' t' _mon amour_ (my love). 

"Ah'm fine! Ah've been restin' fo' a while, 'member? Plus th' voices in mah head are gone… Don't think Ah've ever been so at peace, actually."

"Dat's good t' hear." I chivalrously offered m' arm, an' escorted her out o' de medlab an' t' de elevator. "Y'r _amis_ (friends) are at school now, but 'm sure dat dey'll be glad t' see y're up, _chère_."

"Ah'll sure give 'em a surprise latah," she drawled. "Listen sugah, can we please avoid th' adults? Ah don' want them ta send meh back down ta th' lab fo' tests an' stuff… Ah've been in there enough fo' one lifetime." 

"Y' sure? I don' wan' t' be draggin' y' 'round if y' shouldn' be up…" Phftt, never t'ought I'd be so worried 'bout brakin' de rules – but den again, dis was 'bout Rogue, not me.

"Ah'm draggin' _yah_, remember? An' if yah ask meh how Ah'm feelin' one mo' time, yah'll be th' one needin' medical treatment, got it?" she said in a sugar-coated voice, while poking one finger int' m' chest. 

"_D'accord_! (Alright!)" I exclaimed, defensively raisin' m' hands up in de air. "Y'll be m' little secret f'r now."

We walked t' de _professeur_'s office, an' stopped outside de door. Looked over t' Rogue, assumin' she was goin' in t' pave de way f'r me, but she just shook her head.

"Sorry, Rems, this is somethin' yah have ta do on yo' own. Yah'll be fine, trust meh."

Her words made me feel a bit better. I took a deep breat', knocked on de door, an heard him say t' come in. I spared one last glance at _ma_ _chère_, leanin' on de wall preparin' t' wait f'r me, an' I walked inside. Xavier tol' me t' sit down, so I did. Didn' seem surprised t' see me, but den again, he is a telepat'.

"Good afternoon, Mr. LeBeau," he greeted me. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your rare appearance outside the medlab?"

I decided t' cut t' de chase. He prob'ly already knew why I was here anyway. "Rogue helped me make a decision t'day."

"Ahh," he smiled, an' steepled his fingers. "I was hoping she might do so."

"_Pardon_?" I asked. Wasn't quite expectin' dis…

"I think it's quite clear that you care deeply for her."

"_Oui_," I nodded.

"Do you love her?"

Okay, definitely wasn' expectin' dis… His question surprised me so much dat I didn' really have a response, even t'ough I knew what it was.

"You don't have to answer that," he said, breaking the silence. "But I was hoping your feelings for her might influence your course of action."

"Dat dey have, _m'sieu_ (sir). Came t' ask if y' might have a contract t' offer dis Cajun." Hoped de answer was yes…

"A contract? Most of my students don't have written agreements with me," he informed me wit' a bemused twinkle in his eyes.

Sighin', I decided I'd have t' let him in on some o' m' colourful past if dis was gonna work… I gave him de shortened version, hopin' dat _chère_ was right 'bout him. De grandfatherly vibe he gave off made me wan' t' trust him, but I learned a long time ago dat appearances are decievin'.

He surprised me when he gave a warm smile. "I don't think that arrangement will be a problem."

I broke out int' one o' de widest grins ever t' grace m' handsome face. T'ings were really lookin' up t'day, it was almost too good t' be true. Xavier gave me de rundown o' de mansion rules, tol' me where m' room would be, an' den said he'd have de contract ready f'r me t' sign later.

After I got up, I shook his hand. "_Merci beaucoup_ (Thank you very much), _m'sieu_. Can't tell y' what dis means t' me."

"Don't mention it, Remy. My goal is to help mutants – their pasts are of no consequence to me. Everybody should get another chance."

I beamed at him one mo' time, an' headed t' leave. Couldn' wait t' tell Rogue de good news… But de t'ought o' her stopped me. Turning 'round, I called out, "_Professeur_?"

As he looked up, I said, "I _do_ love her. I just have t' tell her."

Givin' me a sympathetic smile, he replied, "I know. Go be with her, Remy."

I tipped m' head in acknowledgement, left de room, an' closed de door b'hind me. Turnin', I saw _ma_ _chère _waitin' wit' a smirk on her face.

"Well?" she questionned, prob'ly already knowin' what de answer was. Instead o' sayin' anyt'in', I took a few steps t'wards her, grabbed her in m' arms, an' swung her 'round, laughin'. Her squeal of happiness made me feel even better, if dat was possible.

Settin' her down, I moved up close. "How 'bout we go see Remy's new room, _chère_?"

Her eyes brightened wit' de news, but den a sly smirk appeared. "Now why'd Ah wanna go an' do a thing like that?" Always had t' play hard t' get, _ma_ _chère_. Just anot'er reminder o' how different she is from all de o'ter _filles_ I ever met…

"Well, dere's lots o' t'ings we can do in dere…" 'Course, when she played hard t' get, I just tried t' get her even harder.

"Yah mean decoratin', right?" she sternly asked wit' a raised eyebrow. 

"'Course dat's what I mean! Y' t'ink dat everyt'in' I say has t' be double entendre?" I gasped an' tried m' best t' sound offended an' hurt.

She gave me one o' her grins dat nobody ever sees. "Yah just wouldn't be yah any other way," she joked, an' wit' dat, she started walkin' down de hallways t'wards de bedrooms. Watched her hips gently swing f'r a minute b'fo' I was able t' shake m'self out o' m' stupor an' follow her.

We found m' room an' went inside t' inspect it. Closed de door f'r some privacy, an' den turned an' swept m' gaze around. Had t' say I was impressed - it was 'bout five times de size o' de room I had wit' de Acolytes. Which was really mo' like a closet anyhow. Dere was furniture, electronics… I let out an amazed whistle as I took it all in.

"Yah like?"

"_Oui_, _chère_, I like. An' dere ain't anybody t' share it wit', so dat means y' an' me can have some alone time in here, neh?"

"Yah wish!" she huffed, but I could see her smile. "What about all yo' stuff?"

I shrugged. "Don' matter, it's back at de base, but dere's nothin' important. I'll replace it eventually."

"Just don't tell Kitty that yah've gotta go shoppin'," Rogue groaned. "She'll haul yah off ta th' mall an' Ah'll never see yah again…"

"Don' worry, _chère_, 'm not goin' anywhere," I tol' her as I took her hand.

"Good."

Her comment made me wonder… "What d' y' t'ink y'r friends'll say 'bout me stayin' here, _chère_?" Was a bit nervous 'bout dat, but I tried t' hide it. Don' really know why, 'cause Rogue was always able t' see right t'rough me. Ol' habits die hard, I guess.

Quickly stepping int' me, she put her hand on' m' chest, looked directly int' m' eyes an' said firmly, "It don' matter what they say, or what they think, or what they do. Yah're an X-Man now. An' Ah know yah'll make meh proud."

Dere was somet'in' shinin' in her eyes dat made dem even mo' 'mazin' den usual - m' knees felt weak an' almos' gave out when I realized dat it was all de faith she had in me. M' heart began t' beat faster, an' I knew dat I couldn' go on wit'out tellin' her.

"_Chère_," I started, brushin' a strand o' white hair behind her ear. I paused a bit, saw de look she was givin' me, an' all m' doubts faded away. "_Je t'aime _(I love you)."

Scared me f'r a second when I saw tears well up in her eyes, but den relief flooded m' system when she gave me de most _belle_ smile I ever saw, an' spoke de most _belle_ words I could ever hope t' hear from her. "Ah know, Remy. Ah love yah too."

Felt like a giant weight was lifted off m' shoulders, an' I couldn' stop m'self from crushin' her in a hug one mo' time - t'ink 'm getting' addicted t' de feel o' her in m' arms. Not dat 'm complainin', o' 'course. "Y' have no idea how happy y' just made me, _chère_… I had t' let y' know, was so worried dat y' wouldn' wake up an' y' wouldn' know how I felt 'bout y'…" I murmured.

"Ah always knew," she whispered back t' me. "Ah needed ta tell yah too… Yah needed ta know. Ah couldn' go without lettin' yah know."

"Oh _chère_, y' mean so much t' me, more den anyt'in' in de world. _Je t'aimerai toujour et pour toujours_ (I will love you always and forever)," I promised her as I pulled back t' look int' dose emeralds she calls eyes.

She gave me a wistful smile, an' said, "There is no always forever, sugah. Just this."

"Mo' pessimism, henh?"

"Sorry… It's just that… Things change, Rems. All we have is this."

"Don' t'ink dat way, _chère_." I didn' like dat sad look she had…

She bit her lip in dat adorable way she does, when she's t'inkin' o' what t' do. Sooner den I could ask her what it was, she surprised de hell out o' me when she leaned up an' pressed her lips t' mine.

I didn' flinch – bein' drained was well wort' de price o' havin' dis goddess touch me skin t' skin. I responded instantly, kissin' back wit' all m' might b'fo' I got knocked out. Tried t' take in as many sensations as I could – she was just as warm an' soft as I remembered… Her sweet scent o' magnolias glided 'round me like a ghost. 

A few seconds later, I realized dat nothin' was happenin'. I wasn' lyin' on de floor, unconscious – so I took advantage o' de situation. Ran m' hands up an' down her back, while Rogue's came up 'round m' neck, causin' de hairs dere t' stand on end an' make me shiver. We kissed f'r what seemed like f'rever, like we didn' need any air… I could've died happy in _ma_ _chère's_ arms right den an' dere. I'd never experienced anyt'in' mo' perfect den dis… All dose clichés dat people use t' describe kisses, like dey're floatin', or flyin'? Dey're all true, an' dey were happenin' t' me.

T'rough m' haze o' desire, I managed t' hear somebody knock at de door, but ignored it. Didn' want dis t' end… But de knock came again, a little louder dis time, an' Rogue pulled her lips away from mine. I already felt lost wit'out dem.

"H-how?" I stuttered wit' wonder. She could touch… Was startin' t' t'ink dat one o' m' dreams came true – could dis all be real?

"Yah should go get that," she breathed, noddin' t'wards de door.

"I like it here," I pouted, not ready t' release her just yet. 

"Yah'll have ta let go eventually, sugah," Rogue said. T'ought I saw a faint shimmer o' tears, but when I looked again, dere was nothin' dere. I was imaginin' t'ings…

Slowly steppin' away, _chère_ had a longin' look in her eyes as I moved t' de door. Pretty sure I had de same one in m' eyes too… Reachin' f'r de doorknob, I was 'bout t' turn it an' –

"Remy?"

I twisted 'round t' look back at her. Wasn' exactly sure what de expression on her face was – seemed almos' desperate. "_Oui_,_chère_?"

"Ah love yah. Remember that, okay?"

I softened instantly - I'd never get tired o' hearin' dose words. "_Toujours_, _chère, toujours. Je promets _(Always, dear, always. I promise)."

"Oh, and sugah? Yah're welcome."

Gave her a strange look befo' openin' de door, an' saw Dr. McCoy on de ot'er side. He didn' look too good… "_M'sieu_ _Bête_, what can I do f'r y'?"

"Ah, Remy, good, you are here. I felt it was imperative to inform you of this first…" He looked nervous - sad too. Dere were trails o' damp fur underneat' his eyes, like he'd been cryin'.

M' curiosity peaked, I asked him, "Inform me o' what?"

"Oh my stars and garters," he muttered, wringin' his giant hands. "I'm not quite sure how to tell you this… Although I suppose it would be my duty, as the resident physician… I'm sorry I have to be the bearer of such bad news…"

When he said dose words, a horrible feelin' passed o'er me. Felt like someone walked o'er m' grave… M' hand tightened it's grip on de doorknob an' I asked again. "_Qu'est-ce que c'est_? (What is it?)"

"I'm so sorry, Remy, but… Rogue's gone."

Relief flooded t'rough me._Merde_, I t'ought it'd be somet'in' serious… "Oui, already know dat. She's here wit' me," I tol' de _docteur_ an' tilted m' head back t'wards _ma_ _chère_, invitin' him t' see f'r himself.

Starin' past me, he raised an eyebrow sceptically an' looked worried. "Remy? What do you mean?"

Turnin' 'round, I slowly repeated m'self. "I mean, she's right -"

De words stopped when I saw dat Rogue wasn't dere. Where'd she go? Was she hidin', did she not wanna go back t' de medlab dat much?

"She was right here a second ago," I explained, facin' de _docteur_ again.

"I'm sorry, but that's impossible, Remy," he tol' me, placin' a heavy hand on m' shoulder. "She's gone."

M' heart began t' beat faster, like it somehow understood mo' den m' brain did. Didn' really follow what Dr. McCoy was sayin', which he must've guessed from de confused look on m' face.

Wit' a long, gusty sigh an' choked up voice, he finally said, "Rogue passed away a few minutes ago."

I stared at him f'r a few seconds, tryin' t' digest dose words.

"You have my deepest and sincerest condolences…"

When dey finally sunk in, I ran. Ran downstairs faster den even Quicksilver could've gone, but it still seemed like I was goin' in slow-motion. Tol' myself dat he was wrong, he _had_ t' be wrong! Rogue was just wit' me, I was wit' her all dis time, she could touch now, she loved me…

I raced int' de medlab, an' m' heart stopped right den. Dere was _ma_ _chère_, lyin' in her bed like she never left it. De room was deathly silent.

"_Mon Dieu_…"

Couldn' move at first. Den somehow I managed t' slowly walked over t' de side o' her bed. She still looked so _belle_, so peaceful… I took off m' glove an' reached t' touch her, m' hand hoverin' just barely over hers – dis time I was afraid t' do it, terrified o' what I might find out… Finally I reached down, made contact. I was right, she was so soft… But nothin' happened. No absorption… She didn' have a pulse…

M' legs gave out, an' I fell int' de chair I spent most o' m' time in, never lettin' go o' her hand. Brought it up t' m' face, kissin' it an' beggin', "_Chère,_ wake up, please wake up… _Ne me laissez pas_ (Don't leave me)… _J'ai besoin de toi, je t'aime_ (I need you, I love you)…" Tears ran down m' face, an' I did nothin' t' stop dem. I couldn' t'ink… Didn' know what t' do.

She was gone… _Non_, she couldn' be… How? How, why did dis happen? T'ought she was fine, t'ought we'd be happy toget'er, an' den she's just taken away from me? I wanted t' hate her, hate her f'r makin' me feel like dis, f'r makin' m' heart swell an' den crushin' it all in de span o' mere minutes… But I couldn'. Could never hate m' Rogue. _Mon amour_… I love dis fille mo' den life itself… She's de one I wanted t' spend de rest o' m' life wit'… Now what do I do? How do I go on when she was de one dat made everyt'in' wort'while?

I fell forward, buryin' m' face in de blankets beside her, clutchin' her hand. Lettin' de tears fall, sobbin' out m' heartbreak. Didn' know how long I stayed like dat… 'Till I couldn' cry no mo', an' numbness set in. Felt empty, surreal… Prayed wit' all m' might dat dis was just a bad dream, a nightmare, dat I'd wake up an' _ma_ _chère_ would be fine… But somet'in' tol' me dat wouldn' happen.

Slowly raisin' m' head, I was afraid t' look up, afraid I'd see de truth. Forced m' eyes open, an' I saw her. She really was _un ange_… Fresh tears leaked outta m' eyes, an' right den, I had m' epiphany. Shakily standin' up an' movin' even closer t' her, I cupped her face wit' one hand.

"_Je comprends maintenant_ (I understand now), _ma__chère_," I whispered hoarsely. "I know why y' came back t' me, what y' wanted me t' do… And I promise, I'll do it. 'M gonna go upstairs an' sign dat contract. Wouldn' have done it wit'out y', _chère_. 'M gonna make y' proud o' me, I swear… Know what m' path in life is now – too bad we had t' find out dis way, neh?" Tried t' laugh at dat last part, but it came out hysterically. Couldn' stop it, an' I made m' way back t' mo' sobbin'.

T'rough m' blurry vision, I could see her pale face in front o' mine. Leanin' in t'wards her, I made m' final promise t' her. "_Je t'aime_, Rogue, _ma_ _chère_. _Il n'y a personne comme toi, et s'il y a, je ne voudrais pas les trouver. Je jure que je t'aimerai et seulement toi toujours et pour toujours_ (There is nobody like you, and if there is, I wouldn't want to find them. I swear I will love you and only you always and forever)."

Den I bent down t' kiss her, one last time. I poured all m' love for her int' it, pressin' m' lips against hers. Dey were just as silky an' smooth as I remembered… But now dey were cold. Pullin' away, I murmured, "T'ank y', _ma__chère_." And I knew she could hear me, wherever she was.

** Fin **

* * *

What have I done! I'm just bawling my eyes out, I can't believe I did that! You know, I swore I'd never write a Romy with a sad ending, cuz they always make me uber depressed, but well… that promise sure went to hell!

By the way, just so y'all don't blame me for this evil, evil idea, I got the inspiration from the "You're Welcome" episode of 'Angel'. So it's really not me who's this cruel!

But yeah, how's about some commentary? I'm quite happy with the way this turned out (except for the intense sadness, of course), so let me know what you think! Review, my pretties! The fic _compels_ you! ;-)

Kisses,

ish


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